Photograph

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There are times when thoughts about taking pictures as much as possible as long as we live crossing my mind. Most of the times, it happened after a loss because those are the times when I realize the value of things that I lost and times when I wish I keep more printed memories about it.

My fiance’s mother passed away this afternoon. She lost on her battle against breast cancer that was diagnosed around 8 months ago. Went through four times of chemotheraphy.. and she didn’t make it.

I remember the first time I met her, around May last year. She was a very energic woman. I respected her so much it sometimes felt awkward to talk to her. On the first phase of her cancer medication, she had a very strong will to survive. She went under surgeries and she said it doesn’t hurt at all.

But those times flown away so fast. That strength quickly fade away, left her with only skin and bones. Her death today broke my heart so much, and reminded me how little I’ve done for her while she loved me so much like her own daughter. I couldn’t help but cry as soon as the news came.

I wish I called her yesterday.
I wish I was closer to her more than I did last time.
I wish I talked much to her.
And I wish I took more pictures of her.

She’s supposed to be there, witness the moment when I say my vow together with her favorite son before God, and become her daughter-in-law.

God loves her more, I assume.
Then rest in peace. Please look up on your son when you have the time and bless him.

Hi.

I have a tendency to post a greeting everytime I set up a new blog (which means this is obviously not my first blog). That, two-three posts, and it’s neglected. Repeat.

The thing is I actually don’t think that my life is blog-worthy; that’s why I don’t blog much. It’s pretty dull in my opinion. Although my mind is a theme park where I can set up plenty of stuffs based on an idea, I still ran out of ideas more than I got it because my life in a nutshell is none other than a fixed-regular schedule; do same things everyday, over and over and over again.

Then, why?

Because my need to pour my mind out and the availability of listeners is badly imbalance. You might have heard it too somewhere that we, females, have a bigger need to talk. So, let’s just say blogging is the media I choose to substitute it. I’m the same old girl who has her fun while sinking deep in a sea of thoughts, so this blog is going to contain… randomness.

So yes, here I am, trying to blog (again), karena setiap kehidupan (akan selalu) punya cerita 🙂